Sense And Sensuality

…Today,everything is evolving .Sex even…


I’m guessing by now you already know what this blog post will be about!Sex!

Earlier, I was hanging out with a female friend/colleague of mine and somehow the conversation drifted off to us talking about sex. My colleague, let’s call her Kate, On face value, she’s a sweet and shy young lady. She’d perfectly fall into the “good girl” category. I on the other hand, I have been told countless times that I am not the “good girl” kind and that I look like I have tried all the drugs in this world😂..Tough Love!

Anyway, at some point we started describing what fantasies we have and boy did the sweet and shy Kate I have known all this while disappear in the blink of an eye and in her place came out a wild and sexy vixen that I could not recognise. I actually had to tap her to make sure I’m talking to the same Kate I came to have happy hour cocktails with, lol.

Next question I asked was, if she had told her boyfriend of any of these fantasies and she said No. Why I ask, and she said it’s because her boyfriend has created this image of her already that she’s not sure of  how he would react if she decided to reveal her deepest and darkest desires. Would he keep an open mind all through..Would he judge her…would he leave her for a more “decent” woman maybe? And that got me thinking, this is the same boat some of us are in.

There are just a few of us who can actually stand and claim to have open minded boyfriends/husbands/wives/girlfriends. A small percentage who can actually go and tell their partner that they want to try something they saw or read and they would accept and be open to try it. 

Relationships and Marriages are a beautiful thing. Some work, some don’t but at the end of the day, our partners have a version of us that they know and have gotten used to. They know what we like or prefer and what we don’t..bringing a new “updated” version of ourselves to the table will either welcome appreciation or rejection and most people are afraid of the latter. They’d rather sit and conceal their desires like my friend,Kate.This is sad.

This has led to so many more affairs and cheating episodes. So many extra attachments outside our existing marriages/relationships. I don’t judge,especially for the married folk..some argue that it’s gotten abit stale and they need to spice things up abit..they’re looking for a little excitement. I would not speak about that because I haven’t been married before.

The young guys in relationships and engagements though..imagine how exciting it would be if you tried to talk to your partner and Actually experiencing some of these things with them..Imagine having a partner who can tell you anything and everything about their desires without the fear of you judging them and vice versa. Imagine looking into your partner’s eyes and seeing how bare they’re letting you see them by laying out their deepest desires…

Imagine being the person who makes your partner happy by feeding their fantasies or making it possible for them to do so.Imagine yourself  thinking about how much your partner loves and trusts you enough to let you in their safe haven.

All that though…would require you to have and keep an open mind. Some of our fantasies are crazy and may be out of our personal bounds but what do you lose by actually saying that and listening to your partner? Nothing. In any case,you get to gain their trust even more.

Everything is evolving in this day and age. Sex even! So there’s always going to be a new thing we or the other person wants to try. It’s like getting an updated version of our sexual  desires,lol.

Let’s try keep up with ourselves..get a few Kates’ out of this boat of concealed desires and fantasies.

Author: kenyanadultingfemale

A simple Kenyan girl who Loves wine and books-Never keeps time and is scared of insects,dogs and cats.She is adulting and just sharing the experience😄

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